Larry The Love Doctor: After Several Moves, Couple Ready To Settle Down

I met Kaja in mid-August of 2006 at a blues concert in NYC. She was from Poland, and we hit it off right away. We were both classical guitarists and we were both into art. Plus, she was very cute!

After dating for a bit over a month, she had to go back to Poland. Her visa was expiring, and her time here was up. We kept in touch, and I knew we loved each other. I decided to visit her in Poland a month later. We had a great couple of weeks together, and I came back to the US. Around Christmas time of 2006, I was trying to figure out how to make our relationship work, so I sold my car, quit my job and moved to Poland.

We roughly spent the next year together in Poland learning about each other, and having a real normal relationship. After a year, it became apparent that I needed to come back to the US because of commitments that I had here. The thought if moving to the US caused stress in our relationship, but nonetheless, Kaja moved back with me and we started out US relationship.

The first month was like a vacation. But, then the holidays came and with it came some unfortunate things. First, my grandma died a few days before Christmas. Being that kaja's birthday is on Dec. 23rd... she spent her first full American birthday at my grandma's wake. On the 24th, we spend Christmas Eve at my grandma's funeral... and on Christmas, I got sick. On New Years, Kaja got sick too. Looking back, this was the start of a horrible year to come.

Upon my move back to the US, I was having hard time finding work, and Kaja was unable to work because of her immigration status. So, financially, we were starting to feel a crunch. It added stress, and Kaja's culture shock was starting to kick in. She started to feel very stressed and we weren't sure if our relationship would work.

In early spring, her return ticket to Poland was up, and she decided to go back to Poland for over two months. This was probably the most trying time in our relationship. For a period of time, it seemed like it was probably going to end. Kaja was missing home, and I felt as though I made every sacrifice I could to make our relationship work... and I couldn't think of anything else to do. So we spend a couple of months apart.

We were keeping in touch, and finally, Kaja decided to give us & the U.S. another shot.

So, in July, Kaja came back to the US. It was a bit tough the first few weeks she was back... she had been gone for a few months, and we were getting used to each other again. She was here on a tourist visa, and she wasn't legally able to work here, so that made it tough too... she has a Master's degree in art and is very smart, so for her not to be able to find a job was very discouraging.

In August, despite our difficulties, we came to the realization that we both love each other a lot, and if we continued to be together throughout the tough times, that must mean that we love each other a lot... so we decided to get married. We weren't rich enough to have a real wedding, so we decided to go to city hall in NJ and get married. We wanted to keep it small because in the future, when we can afford it, we'd like to have a real wedding.

After we got married in mid August, Kaja started filling her immigration forms to get a green card so she could legally work here... however, that process takes months, so we continued to be financially strapped for a while. In addition to that, my dad got diagnosed with throat cancer in September... and that made it tough, because on the few days off that I had, I would like to spend it with my family, which meant less alone time with Kaja. Then, the economic crisis hit, and our money situation seemed even tighter... granted, we were surviving and doing ok... but it added to the mountain of stress that was already there.

Even though we were stressed out, we were happy to have each other in our lives, and we just kept dreaming of the future when we would have time to afford nice things and be able to take vacations together.

In December, Kaja went back to Poland to spend the holiday's with her family... when she arrived at the airport, she was greeted by her mom and grandma who informed her that her sister Julia had been in a fire the night before and was in the hospital. So instead of having a nice holiday with her family, she wound up spending the next 1 1/2 months visiting her sister in the hospital who had 3rd degree burns over a large portion of her body. I could tell it was a very sad time. Meanwhile, while I was in the US, I continued working and trying my best to pay our bills so we could afford a nice "real" wedding in Poland in the summertime.

Kaja is finally coming back this Sunday... and we are both hoping that this year brings us better luck than last year, because last year was horrible! Sure, we both made the beautiful decision to get married and stick together because we love each other, but it seems as though every obstacle has been thrown in our faces... Relationship stress, family illness, family injury, jobs, financial woes, not having enough time together. I guess it could always be worse, and we're thankful that we still have our health and each other... but, we are definitely hoping for a better year this year.