Are you confused? Do you just not know what to think or whom to believe? Join the club. My head's splitting just trying to keep straight the ever-changing story line of UBL getting capped by SEAL ninjas.

Is Usama bin Laden (and when did he officially lose the Osama in the first place?) or the initialism UBL alive? Was he killed? Was he killed Sunday ninja-style by the super stealthy SEAL Team 6? Was Team 5 not available? Since when did we become so conversant with SEAL Team divisions? (This is akin to our autodidact tendencies that gave us overnight expertise in hurricane taxonomy and nomenclature, see CAT 5 hurricanes). Was he killed in Tora Bora? Did he die of renal failure? Earthquake? Postnasal drip? The heartbreak of psoriasis?

How dare you ask for proof! But note that by merely asking whether he had died before this week implies that the government's lying when they say they terminated him with great prejudice Sunday. And if they're not lying and he's dead, then they have to be even more incompetent than I can even imagine -- if that can be imagined. But what about the now dreaded SEAL Team 6? Whom did they whack? And did UBL fight back? Did he return fire? What about his 29 year-old wife? (His favorite.) Then there's his daughter? Where are they? In Pakistani custody. Uh oh. We royally pissed them off when we accused all of Pakistan's government along with its dreaded ISI intelligence organization. I'm three paragraphs deep into this piece and all I'm doing is asking questions. And where are the mainstream media? [N.B. PIX 11 NEWS is exempt from any indictments I have about shoddy and lackluster journalism. It is the exemplar for journalistic probity.]

This week has been the most incredible hodgepodge of mind-blowing facts and allegations after almost a decade of no real news as to UBL. I've spent hours in my podcasts trying my best to sift through the myriad theories and at least give it the ol' college try just to pretend I understand. I try to respect folks' feelings and the almost stubborn and immutable resistance to distrusting their government, at least its official story.

Stop exploiting 9/11 victims' families. The poor families of loved ones and first responders and cops and firemen and just plain old regular folks who were vaporized, crushed and compacted into organic smithereens on that terrible Tuesday -- my heart breaks for them. I hate the way pols and parasitic opportunists exploit these folks as props and photo-op extras. If there's a hell, these creeps will be in the smoking section. I have a fantasy that some high falutin' member of The Fed calls the family members into a room and whispers, "Look, we're taking care of you. You know the $9B we 'lost' in Iraq? I've got it in the back. We're giving each of you $10M because if we can give it to bail out foreign banks, we can scrounge up an extra $100M for you." A man can dream.

Channeling Bill Hicks. This comedy maestro once wondered who the Gideons were who placed Bibles in hotels. Were they from Gidea? He likened them to ninjas. Enter the now elusive, stealth warriors: SEAL Team 6.

I read recently of an intelligence expert wondering if ST6 was sheep dipped. I love the concept and find the idea fascinating. Impress your friends with this piece of information. Sheep dipping is defined as follows.

U.S. intelligence term for camouflaging or disguising the true identity of equipment or individuals, especially for the use of military equipment or services--including personnel--in clandestine intelligence activities, generally under the direction of a nonmilitary sponsor.

This still blows my mind. While the world lauds the capping of UBL by U.S. SEALS, in an October 2007 interview that Pakistan’s former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto gave David Frost, she claimed that UBL was “murdered years ago.” In the interview, Bhutto identified Omar Sheikh as the man who allegedly whacked UBL.
Bhutto was assassinated on Dec. 27, 2007 in a bomb attack in Rawalpindi during an election rally. That'll teach her.

Confused?

On May 11, 2011 CE, during my PIX 11 commentary (contained and referenced infra), I made a prediction of sorts as to what I believed the PsyOps (Psychological Operations for the unenlightened) folks would plant, er, I mean find in bin Laden's palatial $1M compound: a $1M compound, the exemplar of sheer unmitigated squalor, disguised as a ramshackle hovel worth at best a quarter of said price. Listen carefully at approximately the 2:40 mark and marvel at my prescience, my vatic countenance. I amaze myself and my peers. Mr. G's unable to contain himself as he wonders aloud to anyone who'll listen how I am able to augur the future and read the entrails of the faux terrorism beast.

In a most authoritative and snarkily-penned piece entitled 'Extensive' porn stash: Three ways US has tried to sully bin Laden's image, The Chritsian Science Monitor's Brad Knickerbocker provides in part the following.

Officials revealed Friday that among the computers and other electronic storage devices found in bin Laden’s compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, was a stash of pornography described as “extensive” in several news reports.

Although bin Laden did not have access to the Internet, his couriers brought him flash drives, computer disks, and other recorded messages.

As reported by Reuters, officials are not yet sure where in the compound the pornography was discovered or who had been viewing it – specifically whether or not bin Laden himself had acquired or viewed the materials.

But the implication is there, and it does the terrorist mastermind’s image no good – particularly in a part of the world (and in a movement) marked by conservative traditions and attitudes toward sex.

The release of the videos and photographs of bin Laden, together with the growing list of his personal character quirks are "part of the US government's effort to discredit him after his death so … he doesn't become a martyr in the eyes of the Arab youth," former White House counterterrorism official Richard Clarke told ABC News.

Now, this shouldn't shock anyone. That's the way the game's played. But don't expect the barking seals (not the ninja Team Six kind) and trained monkeys of the corporate-controlled media to utter a word of his. No, they relay the story without so much as an afterthought.

But, just remember: You heard it here first.

The Arnold story consumes me. I'll be honest. I have nothing to hide. I'm not ashamed. I've blogged and commented on the subject, podcasted, name it.

Are you blind?! Look, let's be honest. Let's stop pussy footing and pretending that what's true isn't. This woman whom Arnold threw his marriage over is a beast. What the hell was he thinking? Or not. Good God, Arnold, we know that steroids have deleterious effects on a host of functions, was eyesight one of them?

This in no wise suggests that sullying a marriage and discounting marital vows is OK provided your paramour is attractive or handsome, but for crying out loud, Arnold!

I Tweet therefore I am. And would someone please explain to Arnie's daughter that if she wants privacy, then shut up! First, let's look at what the professional public victim writes about her sleazeball Daddy-O's dalliances.

Katherine Schwarzenegger, the eldest of the grab-happy governator's kids with Maria Shriver, scrubbed a message from her Twitter page that hinted she was ready to reconcile with him.

"Sometimes we forgive people cause we want them back in our lives," read the message that Katherine grabbed from another Twitter user and posted to her own account over the weekend.

On Monday, the post was deleted. Note to Katherine: Kate, there's no such thing as deleting a tweet.

"As my healing begins after this crazy week I ask for privacy!" she later tweeted. "This is only the business of my family and please respect that!" [Emphasis supplied]

Can you believe this kid? Look, I'm not making this up.

You see, nothing exists if it's not Tweeted. People don't experience life or death unless there's an accompanying Tweet or self-absorbed Facebook entry. These idiot kids -- and idiot adults, adolescents, in fact all people being idiots fall under this category -- have lost the concept of privacy and keeping things inside and internal. Not only that, people can watch and see and understand. Especially when YOU MAKE IT PUBLIC! Let me give you an analogy, albeit crude.

Picking your nose while you drive. Have you ever been driving and at a traffic light you look over and next to you is some guy diggin' for gold, knuckle deep nostril mining? He doesn't have tinted windows and you can see as clear as day this guy performing a makeshift digital lobotomy. That's what the comfort level of your car provides. It creates the illusion that you're invisible. That you can't be seen. That's Twitter and Facebook. And for the life of me I can't understand why.

But, God, I love this story.

Now let me get this straight. With all the problems the country faces, Weinergate is front and center. And why?

Boxers or Briefs? Look, I'm not going to insult your intelligence, of course I know why. His name is Weiner and the allegations of the subject matter of an alleged text photo was . . . you know. The same jejune and puerile humor quotient that brings us South Park and poop jokes is eating this story up. Sex, wiener jokes -- what more could you ask for? And it sure beats reporting. But to be perfectly fair and brutally honest, it's Weiner's equivocation that's causing he increased scrutiny. What was that line? It's not about the crime but the coverup. Had he covered up . . . wait, he did. And I'm not so sure what crime was committed, if any. But his reaction is, well, weird.

PARENTHETICAL ASIDE: I'll bet you, Ol' Tony wishes maybe he had pushed for the "Winer" pronunciation, but what are you going to do? Nothing could be finer than . . . but I digress.

Here's Weiner, the prince of prevarication, refusing to answer a very simple question.

No, that's not a gun in my pocket, but I'm still glad to see you. Call me old-fashioned, but how about this statement. And use it, Ant'ny if you want.

I never sent that or any pictures of my body or nether regions, clad or semi-clad, ever to anyone. Period. I don't know who this woman is. My account's been hacked and I've called the police and filed a formal complaint with the authorities.

Then he called it a prank and suggested that someone's trying to derail his real message or something preposterous like that. Is this the way a person denies involvement? And if he did do it, he's certifiably insane. Hasn't he ever heard of Brett Favre? Please, dear Zeus, say it ain't so.

TPM reports the following.

"Look here's the decision I made and you can disagree with it," he told TPM when asked for a clear answer on whether it was him in the photo, "that after two and a half days of statements that answer these questions that I'm not going to keep drilling into further details and further details, even one ... even the easy questions, even the obvious questions, even the ones I've answered before."

Weiner went on: "Because I don't believe in the idea you believe in that this will end. I have four separate emails from a New York Post reporter saying if you just answer this one question it will be over. You know people may not believe me, they believe Breitbart, whatever it is. I'm going to do the work I got to do and somewhere I've got to say I'm done talking about it. I'm going to decide what I'm going to talk about for the next several days and it's not going to be this."

Amazing.