There's a very simple rule when it comes to war, not only do we not know what we're doing, we have no idea what we're saying. POTUS has repeatedly said there will absolutely be no U.S. troops on the ground in Libya, but there are reports of small CIA teams in the country. What, those aren't "troops"? Or are they merely teams? As you can tell, I don't believe anything these folks ever say about anything. And you thought Bill Clinton was tricky with his "is" parsing.

Secretary of Defense Robert Gates said last week that there would be no American ground troops in Libya "as long as I am in this job." Again, ground troops? What constitutes ground troops? Note also that Bob Gates is getting pretty sick and tired of this entire Libyan adventure. A real good hint was when he said said that Libya did not pose a threat to the United States before the U.S. began its military campaign against the North African country.[Source]

CBS reports that ground troops in Libya have in no wise been ruled out.

The United States may consider sending troops into Libya with a possible international ground force that could aid the rebels, according to the general who led the military mission until NATO took over.

Army Gen. Carter Ham also told lawmakers Thursday that added American participation would not be ideal, and ground troops could erode the international coalition and make it more difficult to get Arab support for operations in Libya.

Ham said the operation was largely stalemated now and was more likely to remain that way since America has transferred control to NATO.

He said NATO has done an effective job in an increasingly complex combat situation. But he noted that, in a new tactic, Muammar Qaddafi's forces are making airstrikes more difficult by staging military forces and vehicles near civilian areas such as schools and mosques.

The use of an international ground force is a possible plan to bolster rebels fighting forces loyal to the Libyan leader, Ham said at a Senate Armed Services Committee hearing.

Asked if the U.S. would provide troops, Ham said, "I suspect there might be some consideration of that. My personal view at this point would be that that's probably not the ideal circumstance, again for the regional reaction that having American boots on the ground would entail."

Let's hear it for consistency.

This guy (pictured in jail frocks infra) Paul Evan Seelig, the owner of Great Specialty Bread Co., was found guilty of 23 counts of fraud for selling products that contained gluten and made dozens of customers ill. This master baker was sentenced Tuesday to between nine and 11 years in prison. Wow. WRAL.com provides this dispatch as to the Tar Heel State's public enemy numero uno.

The High Falutin' Rootin' Tootin' Gluten Con

"Deceit is part of who Mr. Seelig is," Superior Court Judge Carl Fox said during the sentencing hearing.

Seelig admitted during testimony last week that he lied when state investigators asked him about the products he sold as gluten-free. Defense attorneys said he did not deliberately mislead customers and blamed the inconsistencies on his supplier.

Many of Seelig's customers have Celiac disease, and ingesting gluten, a protein found in grains like wheat, barley and rye, can cause them symptoms ranging from diarrhea and abdominal pain to irritability and depression. Celiac sufferers carefully monitor their diet to avoid foods with gluten.

Seelig's customers originally brought their claims to the North Carolina Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, which turned the information over to Wake County District Attorney Colon Willioughby.

"When people knowingly put adulterated or contaminated food in the food chain and they know it's going to cause injury, I think it ought to be dealt with harshly," Willioughby said.

Fox said Tuesday that Seelig showed arrogance when testifying during the trial. He noted that customers trusted Seelig and thought he was their friend. Fox said he could understand why customers were so angry.

"In this court's mind, for you to have done what you did to these folks, you might as well have stabbed them. You might as well have beaten them," Fox said.

Seelig's attorney, Blake Norman, asked for leniency, given Seelig’s poor health and apparent mental problems.

“Clearly, there’s something mentally wrong with him, to be in business seven years and think that he could get away with this and could never get caught. I don't think throwing someone in prison will help solve that. He needs long-term cognitive therapy, and that’s not something get in prison," Norman said.

Fox said he had a hard time believing Seelig's claims of health issues.

As part of Seelig's sentence, he will undergo a mental evaluation. Fox also wants a health screen done on Seelig to determine if he is actually allergic to gluten, as he repeatedly claimed to his customers.

During the course of the trial, jurors heard from 23 customers who bought Great Specialty bread, only to be sickened after eating it.

Two of those customers spoke during the sentencing hearing.

"He gave me samples of what he led me to believe were gluten-free bread products," victim Zach Becker said. "He sat across the table from me and watched me eat poison."

Becker said for two weeks he ate Seelig's products and wrote about it on his blog devoted to living gluten-free.

During the sentencing hearing, Seelig apologized to his victims.

"I wish I could turn the clock back to 2009 and change my actions," he said. “I hope in their faith and in their hearts they have room for forgiveness. I pray each day that they will forgive me."

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration does not regulate gluten labeling or levels.

"What we would hope is that this case becomes an illustration of why the federal government does need to move forward with determining what that level is because people can be harmed," state agriculture department spokesman Brian Long said.

This is a must read. A fascinating compilation of indicia of a relationship beyond ruin, on life supports and without any chance of success.

You know your relationship is over when … he informs you that he will be a millionaire some day and you should get in on the ground floor.

That’s one of the entries in Robert K. Elder’s new book, It Was Over When… (drawn from reader submissions on a similarly named website).

Here are a dozen more that you may or (hopefully) may not recognize:

“I asked him what his sexual fantasy was, and he said, ‘Two redheads.’ I’m a brunette.”
– Autumn

“I woke up, looked at my partner sitting on the edge of the bed, and realized that I absolutely detested the shape of his head.”
– Narie

“We went through the drive-thru window at a fast-food place and he ordered a fish sandwich and pronounced it ‘fill-ett o’ fish.’ He wasn’t joking, and I knew he was just too stupid to continue the relationship.”
– Alexa

“He cried during the last Lord of the Rings movie. (He cried when I broke up with him too.)”
– Kelly

“When we arrived at the wedding chapel, neither of us made a move to take off our seat belts.”
– LB

“He found my jeans on the floor and pulled them on, thinking they were his. They fit. And they looked kinda good. And he danced around in them for a second, reveling in the fit.”
– K

“He told me I ‘tasted like Aspirin’ when we kissed.”
– Cassie

“I asked him what he wanted to be doing in five years. He said, ‘Still driving a truck and finally be making real money at $15 per hour.’ He had already been working there for five years and had started the job at $13 per hour. (We lasted two weeks after that. And the clincher? When I had to give him a pen so he could sign my birthday card.)”
– Ma Shell

“It was over when he asked his cats what I wanted to do that day. In a doggy voice. (Only later did I find out that he named one of his cats after his favourite porn star.)”
– Mizz Gooch

“He started making plans for a joint vacation (after only four days of knowing each other) to New York’s Chinatown because he wanted ‘to learn more about my culture.’ I’m Korean.”
– AnemOne

“He told me that we couldn’t move in together because he’d feel guilty when he brought other girls home.”
– Natalie

“I got a Cooking for One book from my wife for Christmas.”
– Jake

I specialized in stupid criminals as a prosecutor. These are as stupid as it gets. The story is best told in its video form. Enjoy.

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla. -- First Coast News obtained the 34-minute police recording made the morning two University of Florida basketball players and a team manager got arrested.

Players Erik Murphy and Cody Larson and manager Joshua Adel apparently don't know they're being recorded, since they admit to breaking into cars and underage drinking. Police put the recorder in the backseat of the police car.

They were arrested early Sunday morning outside Scarlett O'Hara's bar in St. Augustine.

In the recording, player Murphy makes up several possible stories to pass on to police. Team manager Josh Adel rejects all of them, saying he told the players to stop breaking into cars.

But the recording also brings up issues like implied preferential treatment by Gainesville police agencies and different levels of punishment on the UF basketball team.

"Bro, do you know how f*** I am because of y'all dumb m***** f*******," Adel tells Murphy in the police car. "I'm fired. Like, you'll have another shot. I'm done. I have no second shot, bro."

"I don't have a second shot either," Murphy replies.

"And I told y'all to stop doing that," Adel says, referring to car breakins. "You did that."

"I know," Murphy says.

Murphy and Larson are charged with felony burglary while Adel faces a charge of principal to burglary. Police say Adel acted as a lookout.

"I'm getting you out of it," Murphy tells Adel.

"F*** that man," Adel says. "It doesn't matter. My job was supposed to, I'm supposed to be looking after y'all. And y'all are f****** going into f****** cars that I said not to."

While Adel and Murphy talked in the police car, police were still trying to track down Larson. Larson called Adel six times while they were in the back of the police car.

The two put Larson on speaker phone, so his voice is recorded by police too.

"They don't have anything on us. We're gonna get off," Murphy tells Larson.

"We're not getting off," Adel whispers to Murphy.

"Just tell him we are so he can come," Murphy whispers back to Adel. A second later, Murphy tells Larson on the phone, "Yo, we don't have anything on us. We're getting off bro."

Larson is still skeptical of his friends.

"So how are you passing the phone from you to Murph?" he asks.

"Cause the cops don't know I have the phone," Adel replies.

UF basketball coach Billy Donovan has suspended all three from all basketball-related activities until the police investigation is complete.

But the recording reveals that Murphy was thinking of ways to get out of the situation.

"You know what we could say. Listen, listen, listen. When we went back in, the dude was being a d***h*** to us and was like, 'You gotta leave.' I was looking for my wallet," Murphy tells Adel.

"Dude, come on man. ... That is a dumb G** d*** idea," Adel says.

Later, another story pitch comes from Murphy.

"We can get them in trouble too for letting us in when we weren't 21," Murphy says.

"Dude, don't even say that s***," Adel responds.

"No, f*** that. I'm pulling everything out," Murphy says.

"No you're not because that makes us look like a*******. That we're, that you two are wasted and f****** breaking in cars. That looks f****** dumb," Adel says.

"Whatever bro. I'm doing it," Murphy says.

Another clip implies they might get special treatment if they were closer to home at the University of Florida.

"Have you ever gotten arrested before?" Murphy asks Adel, who says no. "Then we could get off."

"There's no getting off. We're not in f****** Gainesville. They [St. Augustine police] don't give a f***," Adel says. "Do you understand I'll be fired and I have no chance of ever pursuing any type of career in basketball."

We asked UF spokesman Fred Demarest about the underage drinking and implication of preferential treatment in Gainesville. He replied via e-mail, "I cannot comment any further than what we've already said.

As for Adel's concerns that he would be treated differently than the players, Demarest wrote, "As for Josh, he is still part of our program right now. He is suspended from basketball related activities as well. We will not comment beyond that until more information is available."

People can't write. They're beyond horrible. The simplest thought transferred to the written word is virtually impossible for so many. Why? Because we don't write anymore. We simply don't craft ideas or thoughts in writing. We've lost handwriting, a personalized signature. We write in upper and lower case. If we write at all. We don't craft letters, love letters, billets-doux. Nada. Niente. Nihil.

We'll jot or dash a Morse Code, hieroglyph replete with an emoticon or the increasingly nauseating LOL. But I've changed my mind about LOL. LOL has more often than not saved a message from the wrong interpretation. And why?

Whether I'm "write." I'll admit something that I never thought I'd say: Emoticons actually serve a purpose. Because people are such lousy writers. I can't count the number of times I've read something with a sarcastic tinge when in fact it was a harmless email but pathetically written. And you'd think that as we write more, naturally our writing would improve. But it doesn't.

"A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about. (from Mostly Harmless)" -- Douglas Noel Adams

And I'm not talking about books or articles or anything of note or length. I'm talking about just conveying a thought. How many times have you read an email from someone in a way that made the writer seem to be rude or snide when in fact nothing of the kind was intended? This is precisely why hearsay is eschewed as an evidentiary tool because inter alia

"You write in order to change the world, knowing perfectly well that you probably can't, but also knowing that literature is indispensable to the world... The world changes according to the way people see it, and if you alter, even by a millimeter, the way ... people look at reality, then you can change it." -- James Arthur Baldwin

Social "nutworking." Enter Twitter. Now, if you really want to read some real beauts, just get a Twitter account. Please note the Tweet I received from someone who'll remain nameless. Tell me what he/she means.

@LionelMedia Your dumbSimply putIf Obama wasnt born in USA he wouldnt be able to even run 4 PresPlease dont tell folks where u went 2 school

Here's another one. Tell me what this person's saying or asking.

@LionelMedia Are you that big an idiot? You're bashing @BarackObama for not providing a document that HAWAII ADMITTED they wouldn't provide.

OK, maybe it's the 140 character limitation. Though, I doubt it. Perhaps its the size of the keyboard. Or, here's a shot in the dark, maybe it's because THESE PEOPLE CAN'T WRITE! Maybe they've absolutely no idea how to take a thought and write it. That simple. But that never gets in the way of the message's hubris.

Let's not leave Facebook out of the equation. This was a private message I received. I've redacted this person's name, but I'm not even sure that was necessary. I swear this is what was sent to me.

Hi, mr. Lionel. Im _____. Im ___, n, I live, in bklyn, 53yrs. I hv seen, ppl. come, n go, live, n die. Im a well, respctd, edu, n dicipline pers. I just join, pix 11, cuz, I lk, d way, they deal, w d prob. of d comunity, in n.y. So, I consider my self, part of d fam. I lk d way, u, present, ur show, on tv. Im a fan, of u. So, in d future, Ill lk to hv, more, comunication, w u, cuz, u r, a very smart pers. I hope, u, accept, my frndship. tnk. u.