More Notes on Tokyo...Or, What's With THAT Picture?!
First of all, here’s one of the pictures I promised you. The caption should be something like : Kaity and Philip Get Ready to Tackle Biggest Oysters Ever!

A Japanese pal of Philip’s took us to this tiny basement restaurant that served nothing but oysters. It's a neighborhood fave. Now, I know those oysters don't look all that big in this picture but trust me on this one. And personally, I am not a fan of raw oysters, though I don’t mind a few if they are not THE SIZE OF MY HEAD. Okay, these weren’t quite that big, but I swear they were somewhere between a golf ball and a baseball. In other words, I could feel my gag reflex working, just looking at them. And unlike the American way, they do not come with all those fun condiments like lemon and horseradish...you know, all the things you can use to cover up the taste.
Happily, you can also have them grilled, steamed, just about any way you want them. So while others slurped happily without gagging, not even once, I chose to have mine grilled in butter and may I say they were delicious? The best part was just hanging out with my son and his friends, listening to him gabble away in Japanese like a native, and just generally kvelling like crazy.
There are many similarities between Tokyo and New York; we are, after all, sister cities. But here is one gigantic difference. There is no tipping in Japan. I found this hard to get used to. At first. My son told me the Japanese are baffled by tips (they don’t understand why they should get a tip just for doing their jobs, he explained) but I still found myself, at least for the first couple of days, trying to tip the porter, the waitress, the cabbies. And all of them would push the tip back at me with great politeness but great insistence. I began to find this custom charming.
But I will never complain about the cost of a New York cab again. You practically have to take out a loan to ride in a Tokyo taxi. A trip that would normally cost me about 20 dollars in Manhattan, with tip, came to 5000 yen in Tokyo. That’s about 60 dollars! In this particular case, I didn’t feel the least bit bad about not adding on a tip. And I learned to use their fine subway system really fast.
More on that later. But before I leave you, here’s one more picture that needs no explanation. For the ladies room, the usual sign of a silhouette wearing a skirt. For the men’s room……..!

I love the Japanese sense of humor!

Comments: 956
Funny sign!
You even look tired in the picture! Take more time off next time. Thanks for sharing your trip.
Hey Kaity,
Fun and enlightening blog.
I thought you looked very
content. Great picture of
you and son. Agree, sign
is funny! Suddenly,I have
an urge to eat oysters.
Alexa
Hey! Look at you, Kaity, lookin' more like your son's big sis rather than his Mom! Your son's a big guy just like you said in a previous blog! Glad to hear he's doing very well in Tokyo. (I knew he would)!
After you explained the cost of that Tokyo cab ride, I wouldn't feel bad about not havin' to tip either!
Never really had oysters, (other than the fried variety at Nathan's at Coney Island),but, the way you had yours prepared sounded good.
Don't understand why the man in the sign is shooting ping-pong balls out of his sleeves?
Uhh,. Ooh,....... "Nevermind!"
Looking forward to more stories from your Tokyo visit!
I JUST WANT TO COMMENT ON YOUR BED BUG STORY: ..I MANAGE 4 TOURIST HOTELS IN THE UPPER WESTSIDE NEIGHBORHOODS.....APPROX. 8 YEAR AGO, NYC EXPERIENCED A MASSIVE INFLUX OF EUROPEAN TOURIST. MOST OF THE LESS PROSPEROUS TOURIST ARE RESIDING IN SMALL CONVERTED HOTELS THROUGHOUT MANHATTAN.... THE BED BUG EXPIDEMIC BEGAN ON THE VERY DAY THAT THE HUGE INFLUX OF TOURIST ARRIVED AT NYC.....AFTER THEY ARRIVE, THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION OF COMPLAINTS OF BED BUGS, AT ALL FOUR HOTELS.. WE HAD "NO" COMPLAINTS OF BED BUGS PRIOR TO THE ARRIVAL OF THE POORER EUROPEAN TOURIST..... IT IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THAT THE TOURIST ARE THE CAUSE AND CARRIERS OF BED BUGS !!!!!... BED BUGS ARE DIFFICULT TO ERADICATE, AND ONE WAY TO COMBAT THEM IS BY USING FULL STRENGTH BLEACH...APPLY TO BED RAILINGS AND IN FLOOR CRACKS... TO BE EFFECTIVE, THE BLEACH MUST BE APPLIED DIRECTLY TO THE BED BUG !!!........... TOURIST HOTELS UTILIZE A REFERRAL SYSTEM AND CONSEQUENTLY I AM IN CONTACT WITH AT LEAST 100 OTHER HOTELS WEEKLY... AND ALL OF THE OTHER TOURIST HOTELS CONCUR THAT SINCE THE EUROPEAN TOURISTS ARRIVED, THERE HAS BEEN A MARKED BED BUG INFESTATION !!!
I JUST WANT TO COMMENT ON YOUR BED BUG STORY: ..I MANAGE 4 TOURIST HOTELS IN THE UPPER WESTSIDE NEIGHBORHOODS.....APPROX. 8 YEAR AGO, NYC EXPERIENCED A MASSIVE INFLUX OF EUROPEAN TOURIST. MOST OF THE LESS PROSPEROUS TOURIST ARE RESIDING IN SMALL CONVERTED HOTELS THROUGHOUT MANHATTAN.... THE BED BUG EXPIDEMIC BEGAN ON THE VERY DAY THAT THE HUGE INFLUX OF TOURIST ARRIVED AT NYC.....AFTER THEY ARRIVE, THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION OF COMPLAINTS OF BED BUGS, AT ALL FOUR HOTELS.. WE HAD "NO" COMPLAINTS OF BED BUGS PRIOR TO THE ARRIVAL OF THE POORER EUROPEAN TOURIST..... IT IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THAT THE TOURIST ARE THE CAUSE AND CARRIERS OF BED BUGS !!!!!... BED BUGS ARE DIFFICULT TO ERADICATE, AND ONE WAY TO COMBAT THEM IS BY USING FULL STRENGTH BLEACH...APPLY TO BED RAILINGS AND IN FLOOR CRACKS... TO BE EFFECTIVE, THE BLEACH MUST BE APPLIED DIRECTLY TO THE BED BUG !!!........... TOURIST HOTELS UTILIZE A REFERRAL SYSTEM AND CONSEQUENTLY I AM IN CONTACT WITH AT LEAST 100 OTHER HOTELS WEEKLY... AND ALL OF THE OTHER TOURIST HOTELS CONCUR THAT SINCE THE EUROPEAN TOURISTS ARRIVED, THERE HAS BEEN A MARKED BED BUG INFESTATION !!!
Philip looks wonderful --right at home-- and you look so happy! I know it was a great visit for both of you :)
Love the sign for the men's room--reminds me of the stature of the little Prince of Belgium --supposedly how they found him MANY years ago. I remember seeing it there years ago when I was on a trip!
THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU, MR. OBAMA AND YOUR ADMINISTRATION....You not only capped and stopped the oil leak, you made BP pay $$$$$$ 20 BILLION DOLLARS, THATS 20 THOOUSAND MILLION DOLLARS $$$ to those poor people who lost income and property because of the BUSH-CHANEY-HALIBURTON oil spill...And let's not forget the slogan of SARAH PALIN AND THE REPUBLICANS... "DRILL-BABY-DRILL".. "DRILL-BABY-DRILL"...DRILL, DRILL, DRILL.....
Let's back on topic--
Welcome back, Kaity!
Always loved watching you deliver the news with class and humor;
now enjoying your blogs about your trip.
Terry
Hi Kaity~
You look GREAT!!..Glad you got to see your son..Luv ya!..~Lin
Hi Kaity,
Even though I share Larry Mendte’s feelings about tipping (see his blog for June 22, 2010), I’m actually far more disturbed by the custom of haggling over the purchase of a good or service. In our country, we’d typically do this when we purchase a home or a car, but I can’t stand it. Just give me a competitive price (why should I have to negotiate with anyone over that?). The Mediterranean countries are even worse than we are about it. I’ll have to make it a point to find out if haggling exists in Japan. By the way, I heard that it’s rude to count your change in front of the cashier in Japan. I’ll have to look more into that one also.
On another note regarding Japan, part of Lionel’s August 1st, 2010 blog partly discusses them. Granted that you’re a far bigger fan of his than I am, I did enjoy looking at the picture that was posted at the very end of that same blog.
Ari
I love the picture of you and your son. Both of you look so happy. Wish you could have spent more time together. Hope you can see your son again really soon! You and your crew are the best, hardest working new team in this city. Take a little bit more vacation next time Kaity, even though we will miss you each evening!!!
I love the picture of you and your son. Both of you look so happy. Wish you could have spent more time together. Hope you can see your son again really soon! You and your crew are the best, hardest working new team in this city. Take a little bit more vacation next time Kaity, even though we will miss you each evening!!!
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a yo kaity your piture is good but the man with the urination pitchure is funny
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You were right man, I had no idea a power washing company in Knoxville did low pressure roof cleaning but this company did a fantastic job. Thanx.
Actually the New York Jets are one of the top three strongest Super Bowl contenders at the moment. I would make a Superbowl futures bet on them while the odds are really high.
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Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
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If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
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The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
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Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
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If theres one thing I know its God does love a good joke.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
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After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
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Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
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Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
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Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.
A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.
A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
I am not young enough to know everything.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
colossal post you've secure
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
Great post! I wish you could follow up on this topic =D
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
The truth is more important than the facts.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
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In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Why don't you write books people can read?
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
I am not young enough to know everything.
I am not young enough to know everything.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
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They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
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Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
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He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
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Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
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No kiddin, you better go out and make your Super Bowl futures bets while the odds are really high. The Jets are favored right now.
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Man I dont know, it's too far out to be able to predict but somebody can get super high futures odds on Superbowl bets right now.
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