Be Grateful For Your Ass-ets
There’s a story on our news tonight about six New Jersey women who went to this quack doctor to get bigger butts, and ended up in the hospital. Why?
Because this unlicensed character injected their behinds (which were probably just fine to begin with) with silicone….the kind of silicone that is used to CAULK YOUR BATHTUBS! I am not kidding.
When Emily Frances reported on this during our 6:30 newscast, I introduced her by asking, tongue-in-cheek, “You mean to tell me that DIDN’T work out so well?!”
These six women ended up with such bad infections, you don’t even want to know. And our regular guest medical expert, Dr. Keri Peterson commented that the grade of silicone the so -called doctor used probably was purchased at the hardware store! It’s just horrifying. And once that stuff is shot into your butt, it’s basically impossible to get out. You are stuck with the mess.
I say, forget the butt implants. Just go online to Fredericks of Hollywood or some other such store and order the Spanx-type panties with the built-in ass padding. I will admit I ordered a pair once. And wore them…..once. I thought it looked a little weird, and felt even weirder. But at least, at the end of the day, I could take my ‘ass’ off, with a big sigh of relief (because those things are really tight!) and just put my fake tushie away.
And by the way, I used to be pretty okay with my rear. But I have to say, all these years of sitting at a desk for the newscast, AND being required to move my chair from spot to spot by ROCKING MY TUSH back and forth to get the chair to where the director wanted it because my feet don’t touch the floor, has flattened my ass! I am not pleased. But that’s another story.
Check out the girl talk about this topic with me, Dr. Keri, and Emily on the 6:30 newscast….you can find it on this website.
And read the entire report, also on wpix.com.
I have to go. Running behind. : )
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Great "parting" line :)
Kaity,
I saw that news feature with you all & thought it was really tragic,... (OK, in a humorously, sick sort of way).
Between the fake butt & breast implants, and "Male Endowment Pills" sold by "Bob" over at Enzyte, seems most folks are indeed quite ungrateful for their natural assets,...... 'but they should be.
By the way,... hearing you say, 'I could take my ass off at the end of the day" was absolutely priceless!!!!
I totally LOVE your earthiness & honesty!
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You are so funny. Excuse me - funny and clever. When I watch you on TV I am never disappointed. There's always a well-planted nugget of humor that tickles me. And leaves me chuckling the next day. Yet,somehow you still get the information out. Entertaining and informational. That's YOU!
Ohhh! So that's what they mean when they say,"junk in the trunk". :o)
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thanks great public service to warn people about such dangers.
guess that's what they mean when they say,
"may all your troubles be behind you."
your pun addition is really contagious!
i always look forward to you deliver the news.
jennie
The more I think about it the more feminism has failed. Think about it, feminists have drummed into our societal skulls for years don't worry so much about your physical assets in attracting a man, in fact you don't even need a man...how this all leads to anorexia and bulimia...the SI swimsuit issue is sexist yada yada and what do these women do? get breast and butt implants. Has feminism become that irrelevant?
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You have the most impressive buns; tiny and well shaped. The chair excerises must be doing well. I wonder are they also satisfying?
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The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod's. It works well, but isn't as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that's not an issue, but if you're planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod's larger screen and better browser may be important.
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