Graduation Day Jitters (Mine, Not Theirs)
Been asked to address the graduating class of a fine high school in Manhattan, Lower East Side Preparatory. Nearly 96 percent of the students are from various parts of China, and most have been in the United States for less than 3 years. Yet nearly all of them are going on to higher education.
I’m struggling over what to tell these young people. Should I be telling them about how different the world is today than when I was in their position? But they already know that. They don’t need me to tell them the obvious.
Or perhaps they would be interested in MY graduation from high school, what I can remember of it. Those diplomas etched onto stone tablets were so heavy.
I know I have absolutely no recollection of who the commencement speaker was, or what he or she said. I do remember a lot of giggling in the auditorium, filled with 800 graduating seniors. That’s right. 800. The class I will be addressing this week is only 60!
Maybe I can tell them about what I was feeling that day. That I do recollect. Like many of the students from Lower East Side Prep, I came to America as an immigrant, speaking no English. The big difference is, I was just four years old, so learning a new language was not hard for me. For these teenagers, who arrived in New York just three or four years ago, it is a huge challenge. One that they have met, clearly, as nearly all of them are going on to college.
I remember feeling gratitude. Not just to my parents, but also to my teachers, the ones who loved me (usually my English teachers) and the ones who didn’t even like me.
Poor Mr. Phillips. I think of him to this day. He was the math instructor at my high school. It was so frustrating for him that I was Asian, and yet so terrible at math. I had him all four years, and each year, he had less and less hair. I guess pulling it out from sheer despair and disbelief at my inability to grasp something called ‘new’ math.
He was always yelling at me “You’re Chinese, for God’s sake! You people are supposed to be good at this!” That’s right, no such thing as political correctness back then.
Still, I am grateful he hung in there, and I managed to get a C minus instead of the F I probably deserved. I feel bad I was such a disappointment to him.
And I think I want to tell these young souls, it’s alright to feel uncertain, even a bit scared. I know I felt those emotions on my graduation day. What now? What’s next for me? I will try to say that it’s okay not to have everything all mapped out. Life will take you from point A to point B with a lot of meandering in between. Try to relax, and on this day, take time to enjoy the moment. Plenty of time for stress later!
Well, enough of my pointless musings. I need to knuckle down and write a good speech. These kids deserve it. But in the end, I don’t think it much matters what I say. They already have what it takes to make it. All I can really do is wish them well.
If you have any ideas, please share.
Comments: 28
I can relate Kaity. I'm a person whom absolutely HATES public speaking,... I'm quite sure way more than you ever could.
Reading this latest blog entry made me think of something Adam Clayton Powell Jr. used to say,... "What's In Your hand?" (,...as in "Use what you already have avialable to use!")
Kaity,.. you already have the essence of your graduation speech right here in this present blog entry!
Very natural, very real, very honest, very humorous, & very easy to relate to! I was gonna suggest maybe putting yourself (mindset-wise) in the graduating students place,... but, I think with this entry, you already have.
I'm sure many of the other Kaity blogger regulars may have some other great ideas & advice from their own experiences, but, I think that you just being your naturally appealing self will be enough for those graduates. I think you'll do great,. just don't go too long time-wise.
"What's In Your Hand?"
"Inspiration, Achievement, Experience, Success & Natural Comforting Appeal!"
Those students are very lucky!
I have always found the "Desiderata" both practical and inspiring, Why not borrow some of its structure if not themes. And if you find that your speech is going by more quickly than you had originally planned, a recipe or two should fit the bill nicely (especially if they serve 60) :-P
speak from your heart. That always rings true and the children will know you are being authentic.
No offense, but this math teacher of yours is pretty ignorant.
"He was always yelling at me “You’re Chinese, for God’s sake! You people are supposed to be good at this!”"
It is a dangerous presumption, may be even a prejudice, to have the idea that "ALL Chinese are good at math". Yes, generally Chinese are good at math, but not ALL of them, at least not you, and not me (I didn't even pass pre-calculus, and don't plan to pass).
It is just like the term "ABC" (assume you know what it means), I met an ABC back in college who doesn't like to be called ABC because this term kind of label him. He is right to a degree - there is no "general model" of ABC. There are ABCs who are completely western, don't speak a single Chinese word. There are also ABCs who speak fluent Chinese, and can write some.
Also, it is not about PC, it is he who has this wrong presumption, and make a further mistake by yelling at his student because of the wrong reason, wrong presumption.
17. Hey Kaity,
I agree with you. They don't need to know the obvious, so how about giving them reality speech about the future and throw in some humor. You can throw in the following:
i) Stay in school as long as you can, this economy ain't getting better for the near future.
ii)College education is where the real academics begin, some of you in this room will not graduate from college, so right now, enjoy your last graduation while you can. (This will definitely get them cracking up)
iii)Tell them a joke in chinese.
iv)I am sure parents will be there. Relate to them your sayonara son's blog.
v) As Bart mentioned, throw in a few recipes. We all know campus food sucks. A well cooked meal is necessary.
vi)Give them the Rocky Balboa speech from Rocky 6. (Totally motivating)
vii)Tell them to work and study hard
viii)Most importantly, tell them to watch the PIX news at 10 and check out your blog !!!
Maybe you can embed a video excerpt from the graduation into a future blog and let the readers catch a piece of the action too..LOL
Excellent suggestions, from all of you.
Chuck, I will follow your advice. Being myself has worked for me in the past! That was your suggestion, too, J, and it's noted.
Bart, nice idea.
Nash, good to see you again. I like all of your suggestions. In fact, was planning on doing some of the items you delineated. Especially i. ii.iii. and viii. Don't know about recipes this time around. They probably will live on pizza and ramen noodles like I did!
Love all your comments! Keep 'em coming. :)
Success breeds success.
Go for it, Kaity!
Kaity, Please give us a future update on how well things went!
Kaity, great article. I just want to point out that we no longer call those undershirts "wife beaters". We call them "Italian Dinner Jackets".
lesp graduation take place on Thur June 25th 2pm
Lesp graduation take place on Thur June 25th 2pm
lesp graduation senior
hi,lesp
Kaity--just being yourself is great and a wonderful inspiration !
These young people are already "winners"--only here for 3 or 4 years and graduating from high school--a big well done to them !! Keep your terrific natural way and that delicious humor--and I agree with Chuck--Don't go long :) It will be a memorable day for the students!
Just show up-----they will be inspired
Kaity,
Just tell them life is a long journey. They have finished only the first rung of this long trip. Inspire them with your life's journey. It is truely fascinating(sic).
Kaity,
Just tell them life is a long journey. They have finished only the first rung of this long trip. Inspire them with your life's journey. It is truely fascinating(sic).
Here's an update! It was a wonderful graduation, and I used many of your ideas. Thanks!
What an impressive group of students! They are going on to college, some to NYU, Barnard, Georgetown, CUNY, SUNY, just to name a few. And the majority of these kids have been in America for less than 4 years.
Very impressive school, as well. I was honored to be the keynoter.
Wow! That's pretty darn impressive! Congratulations to them all,... & to you, too Kaity! You done did good!( ,...Just like we knew you would)!
Hi Kaity! I am the girl who sang the Star Spangled Banner today at LESP. Thank you so much for your appreciation about my singing!
It was really enjoyable to listen to your speech today because it was really INTERESTING and, you pointed out some of the words in the bottom of my heart. (And it would be perfect if we had translated it into Chinese because it was such a pity for our parents who don't speak English lost the chance to share this pleasure!)
I read some of the comments above and some of it really made me feel proud of myself. True, we went through a difficult process, but luckily, (as one of them said, we are really lucky) we made it, with the help of LESP, eventually. Even my HS graduation come late (I spent one and a half year to retake my high school in America!) I am still very excited and thankful.
However, I am a little upset because I didn't get a chance to talk to you, and I really want to. Hopefully I will get a chance to meet you again, would it be?
It will be too long for a comment if I continue.
Thank you again for coming to our graduation and good luck! You are really a great speaker!!
I agree with earlier comments that you
already have the core of your speech and
yourself as an example. Absolutely, they
have heard lots of advice from parents and
relatives and have so much stress right now.
You own story is inspiring so a couple of
anecdotes from your own life would resonate.
Young graduate today need to be serious, but
they should also not become so paralyzed that
they think they have to be perfect. No matter what they plan for the road ahead, they need to know that sometimes that road will bring unexpected challenges and rewards and they need to be focused, but also flexible.
You already know what you'll say -- we all love
you for your wisdom, and not just the wit!
LHhYwz
LHhYwz
I agree that you have some pointless musings - I have always adored you, but recently I am nauseated by your off the cuff, selfish commentary live on the news at 10. You might have told your audience you are lucky to have the job you have and that that status was not a threat to you. Were you worried about you being a poor role model? Or too self indulgent?
I agree that you have some pointless musings - I have always adored you, but recently I am nauseated by your off the cuff, selfish commentary live on the news at 10. You might have told your audience you are lucky to have the job you have and that that status was not a threat to you. Were you worried about you being a poor role model? Or too self indulgent?
I agree that you have some pointless musings - I have always adored you, but recently I am nauseated by your off the cuff, selfish commentary live on the news at 10. You might have told your audience you are lucky to have the job you have and that that status was not a threat to you. Were you worried about you being a poor role model? Or too self indulgent?
I agree that you have some pointless musings - I have always adored you, but recently I am nauseated by your off the cuff, selfish commentary live on the news at 10. You might have told your audience you are lucky to have the job you have and that that status was not a threat to you. Were you worried about you being a poor role model? Or too self indulgent?
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