Kaity Tong
Jun
4
9:35PM | June 4, 2009 | comments: 1445

1-800-REALLY!

This is something that's been bothering me for some time. I thought about it again today, as I was going through my morning ablutions. Those 1-800 numbers that are now on just about everything you buy these days, including things you've been using since you were a child. Like shampoo. Or toothpaste. They invite you to call their 1-800 number with any questions. What possible questions could one have about SHAMPOO?

'Hello, yes, I have a question. Do I put this on my HAIR?"

Or maybe, "I just used your shampoo, but it doesn't seem to be working. Oh, I need to WET my hair, too?!"

I mean, REALLY! Even stranger, with toothpaste. What possible questions could you have about your toothpaste, after all these years?

"Uh, hello, could you please help me? Do I squeeze this product directly onto my teeth? Or is there some other way to convey said product to said teeth?"

It all leaves me baffled. Yet, it seems just about everything now has a 1-800 number you can call should you have any QUESTIONS.

Now, I can kind of understand it when it comes to over- the- counter medications. There, I can see how one might have a legitimate concern and need to get expert advice.

"Hello. I have a question about your allergy medicine. It says on the box that it can cause dizziness, drowsiness OR insomnia, blurry vision, the inability to operate heavy machinery, headaches, and shingles.

But I was just wondering. Can it also lead to anal leakage, a sudden desire to gamble, or a sudden desire to move to Vermont???"

Okay, legitimate questions. But your shampoo and toothpaste?!

If any of you have ever called one of these 1-800 numbers, please tell me. I would really like to know what questions you needed answered. Please. This is important to me.

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Comments: 1445

Posted by kman at June 4, 2009 10:22 PM

From Lo Mein recipes to anal leakness... YIKES!

It's all about liability. If you decided to drink it cuz it looked appetizing, you shoulda called us first.

Posted by brad at June 4, 2009 11:22 PM

I think kman is right, it must be liability.

I would have been too young at age 6 to call the 1-800 number even if I had felt sick. We had just come to America and I couldn't read and that morning, I was so sleepy because I had to dress myself -- no more nanny -- and reached for my Dad's tube of hair cream -- I think it was Bealcream -- because it looked (to me) just like Colgate! Both tubes are red and white. It was Nasty!

Well, I think it is for mostly for guarding against lawsuits, especially if a kid ingested it or something like that. Or, if someone ate something accidentally, got sick and THEN noticed the expiration date.

Posted by kaity at June 4, 2009 11:53 PM

Well, kman, you can't accuse me of not having range!
And thanks for the comments. Interesting story,brad!

Posted by brad at June 5, 2009 12:12 AM

Thanks, Kaity.
Although I can read now, it turns out I still can't spell. Correct spelling is Brylcream. It gave the Dad a helmet look.

Probably the 1-800 is also there for people who
get allergic reactions to the products.
Brad

Posted by KC at June 5, 2009 12:32 AM

most of those 800 numbers are for selling the products without the customers making long distance phone calls.

Posted by Andrew P at June 5, 2009 2:54 AM

Wow, and I thought MY blog covered a broad range...

Good work, Kaity!!!

Posted by Anonymous at June 5, 2009 3:06 PM

Why does your entertainment news reporter always wear jeans every morning? Where is the professionalism on that show?

Posted by synonymous at June 8, 2009 7:30 PM

Ditto Anonymous' non seq comment above lol. Where is the professionalism? Why can't they take a cue from your appearance, which is always tailored, put together, understated, energetic and sharp.

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