My Birthday, After the Fact
I had a birthday this week. Didn’t really tell anybody about it. It’s become something I don’t announce anymore. So why am I bringing it up now? Because I’m trying to figure out if that’s weird behavior, or not.
Ever since I came to New York in the 1990’s, I’ve always been surprised by the degree to which so many people here mark their birthdays. They take the day off from work, they gather everybody they know for the celebration, they treat and pamper themselves in the highest style they can afford, and they begin talking about it weeks before the big day arrives. I say I’m surprised by this, but I have also always thought that this is just wonderful! The people who celebrate their birthdays this way are really celebrating themselves (in the best, healthiest way possible). They’re almost creating a holiday in their own name, one single day in which they shout to the world “This is me! I’m special and worthy! Let’s all enjoy the anniversary of the day I arrived on this earth!” Or something like that. It seems like an emotionally healthy, self-valuing thing to do, to celebrate a birthday with pride and excitement.
So why don’t I do that? I had perfectly fine birthdays as a child, with parties and gifts, and all that. My parents always made a big fuss, just like my wife and I do now when our sons’ birthdays come around. I truly don’t believe in the slightest there’s any deep, dark, negative emotional connections I associate with birthdays. And yet, I now pretty much keep them to myself.
Part of it, I suppose, is good old vanity; as the years go by, one is less inclined to announce that.. well, that another year has gone by. Maybe part of it is spending so many years living the broadcast nomad life, out on my own, that I got in the habit of playing down holidays and birthdays, simply because I was just a long way from home. I don’t really know.
Well, anyway, the big day has come and gone for another year. Maybe I’ll start asking these questions before my birthday next year, in a way that will open me up to more of a real observance of the occasion. I know my wife would appreciate that; she gets a little miffed that I’m not very “birthday friendly.” It was her who gave me the best birthday card I ever received, not that long after we met. No corny poem on the inside, just these seven words: “I celebrate the day you were born.” Perhaps I need to celebrate that more, myself.
I’d be interested in your thoughts on this strange topic, if you have any to share.
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Comments: 11
Hey, I just celebrated a birthday recently too! My 50th! So I celebrated by spending a weekend with my college roommates (all celebrating 50th birthdays this year of course) and another weekend with my husband (no kids) in NYC -- it was awesome! But... I did not otherwise announce to friends, neighbors etc that this was a big birthday, or even any birthday. I haven't thought much about my birthday in recent years (other than this one), ever since my daughter was born, a bit early, 4 days before my birthday -- so now I'm so busy focusing on her birthday every year (she just turned 6) that mine is just a passing thought.
BTW, my husband tells me he met you the other night at a benefit and told you what a big fan I am! (I guess I believe him -- he called me to say he'd met you and you were wearing a purple tie, and sure enough, 10pm, there you were, wearing a purple tie!) So, a belated happy birthday to you, and keep up the great work!
It is interesting that I come across this topic as I am approaching my birthday. When I was younger, I really was into the over the top celebrations. I usually was always left with a sense that it could have been better. When there was not celebration, I really was disappointed.
My perspective has changed significantly mostly because of my son who is now 20 years old. He has Asperger's Syndrome and so for him things are a bit different. He really takes pleasure in the simple things. I've come to embrace that concept as well. Since this new awakening, my birthdays have been stress free, reflective, and easy.
I am grateful for those who want to celebrate my special day. Now, however, I honor the day I was born by looking around and appreciating my life, my family, my friends, and most of all, my blessings. It looks different every year so it never gets boring. There is no need for major plans (maybe just a little cake). My son will never know that his gift just keeps on giving!
So Mr. Watkins, don't judge yourself too harshly for not being "over-the-top" with your birthday. You, just like my son, know something greater than the rest of us! You celebrate life. It seems to me that you have a birthday everyday! JM
Happy Birthday, Jim. Does that make you a lovely Libra or the "dreaded" Scorpio? ;)
I am the former and tried myself to keep it on the down low this year.
Interesting thoughts.
"It was her who gave me the best birthday card I ever received, not that long after we met."
Hate to get all anal -- all technical -- on you, but you should've written "It was she..."
Otherwise, I totally agree; I don't like to make a big stink over my birthdays, either. Had too many of 'em, I think.
Im only 27, and I have stopped announcing or celebrating my birthday since early teens. i dont care about people knowing my age, but i dont like people making a fuss out of it, so usually i keep it as a secret (the birthdate, that is, not the age/year). i guess im like what you described, not birthday friendly. lol.
Dear Mr .Watkins, Happy Birthday!! I too just had a Birthday Oct 31st yes, I am a Halloween baby...I also don't make a big deal out of it,, as a child trick or treating then to my Birthday party ...now ..not so much...I just chill out at home...and enjoy the day.
Wait til you get into your 80s-you'll love celebrating your birthday - just to be alive!!! Love getting cards and being taken to dinner, etc.
lighten up - you deserve to celebrate your birthday, you are a great anchor man
Wait til you get into your 80s-you'll love celebrating your birthday - just to be alive!!! Love getting cards and being taken to dinner, etc.
lighten up - you deserve to celebrate your birthday, you are a great anchor man
Dear Jim,
Sorry for the belated birthday wishes. You deserve the best. My wife's b-day is on the 23rd of october.
Airam
What is your birthday?
Hey Jim,
I finally found your Blog! I'm so glad you became an anchor man on Ch 11 10:00 News. So Happy Very Belated Birthday to you!
Warmest Regards,
Lisa