When Moms Want Revenge For Their Kids
The best thing you can say about this case on Long Island where, according to cops, a mom, 40-year-old Margery Tannenbaum of Hauppauge, used Craigslist to smear a rival of her daughter, is that it’s not the most perverse case ever of misguided parental protectiveness. That would be this from 1991, the infamous case of the Texas mom who tried to hire a hit man to kill a girl competing with her daughter to make their school’s cheerleading squad.
Having said that, this Craigslist case is pretty bad. When I first heard the basic elements of the story, I assumed the neighbor girl the mom allegedly listed in a sex classified—complete with her home phone number—was at least a teenager. It turns out she’s nine. Nine! There have been a few instances in recent times about a parent taking the lead in smearing another child on line, most notably the Megan Meier case in Missouri three years ago. The 13-year-old killed herself after she was cyber-bullied by the mother of one of Megan’s former friends. In other words, this is serious stuff.
Psychologists could do a much better job of analyzing what’s going in the heads of these parents, but the rest of us can certainly speculate. All of us want to protect the feelings of our children and spare them from disappointment as much as possible. But these cases seem to be a kind of a psychotic version of that instinct. It’s protectiveness taken to a dangerous level. It could well have as much to do with unfulfilled aspects of the mother’s life as it does with worrying about her child being hurt. Or—just brainstorming here, I told you I’m not a psychologist—it indicates an over-identification of the parent with the child and the child’s experiences. And of course, there’s the internet factor; countless parents in the past would have liked to have intervened for their kids, to get “revenge” on their behalf, but there wasn’t any way to do it anonymously. Now there is.
Parents have to learn to let their children deal with disappointment and peer conflict on their own. It’s difficult. If I saw one of my sons getting bullied or teased….. well, I don’t know. But I’m sure it’s something I’ll eventually have to face. Hopefully in a positive way. With no involvement from craigslist.
Comments: 11
That woman should be lucky nothing happened to that little girl. I've heard of protective parents but her actions were just the epitome of stupidity and just plain reckless, brainless, and dangerous. Had anything happened, not only would the other family be affected, but her own daughter as well (if she's not already truamatized over the upcoming charges).
What an idiot.
I cannot believe what goes on anymore, and I am only in my late 40's..To think that a parent would go to the extent and time to place an ad on Craigslist, it just boggles the mind! My oldest daughter, who is 14, has ADD and was getting bullied in School. I dealt with that by enrolling her in Karate School, to build her self esteem, and alot of the bullies were in the same class. I knew the families, and spoke with the parents. Even if it was not a positive outcome, the kids backed off. Never would I have dreamed of doing something to hurt or put a child in harms way. I hope this woman does get some sort of Jail or community service time, and maybe the ability to think clearer next time someone hits her in the head with a stupid stick. Enjoy watching you guys each night, all the best!
I cannot believe what goes on anymore, and I am only in my late 40's..To think that a parent would go to the extent and time to place an ad on Craigslist, it just boggles the mind! My oldest daughter, who is 14, has ADD and was getting bullied in School. I dealt with that by enrolling her in Karate School, to build her self esteem, and alot of the bullies were in the same class. I knew the families, and spoke with the parents. Even if it was not a positive outcome, the kids backed off. Never would I have dreamed of doing something to hurt or put a child in harms way. I hope this woman does get some sort of Jail or community service time, and maybe the ability to think clearer next time someone hits her in the head with a stupid stick. Enjoy watching you guys each night, all the best!
Jim, you are such a hypocrite! In this post, you criticize these adults for attacking children, yet you do the exact same thing.
Just two days ago you smeared a 17-year old girl who had given birth to a child and was now advocating to other teenage girls not to do the same thing just because you hold a political grudge against her mother (Briston and Sarah Palin, respectively).
Enough already, Jim! Just keep reading the teleprompter about squirrels who can waterski and cashing your million dollar "anchor" checks. Leave the writing and critical analysis for people who have functioning brains.
Jim Watkins, you are a clueless, liberal, blow-dryed, pretty boy intellectual lightweight.
Who hit this woman in the head with a stupid stick? I hope she does get additional charges leveled against her. How do you do this to other people? My oldest has ADD, and was bullied. We took care of it through the School, and no problems. If my daughter is arguing with someone in School, we let them work it out. To pull a stunt like this woman pulled, it just boggles the mind, and it scares me that she is a parent. Who did she really spite in this? I agree with Mel..What an IDIOT!! Enjoy watching you guys each night. All the best!
Who hit this woman in the head with a stupid stick? I hope she does get additional charges leveled against her. How do you do this to other people? My oldest has ADD, and was bullied. We took care of it through the School, and no problems. If my daughter is arguing with someone in School, we let them work it out. To pull a stunt like this woman pulled, it just boggles the mind, and it scares me that she is a parent. Who did she really spite in this? I agree with Mel..What an IDIOT!! Enjoy watching you guys each night. All the best!
hey, John Z, liberal or not, that's quite enough.
The planet, unfortunately, has many idiots, and this mom is one of them. The kid may not know enough, but the mom should know better than this.
Jim,
I saw you on tv 10 minutes ago talking about autistic c hildren in the booth at the Mets game. I wanted to tell you about a program that we run in Pearl River, NY. We call it Buddy Ball. It started about 6 years ago for children with special needs. We team all of the special children with kids from the community (1 on 1). It started with soccer and we had 8 children show up the 1st day. Six years later, we have 75 children w/ special needs (autistic, CP, Williamson, etc.) participating in our Track and Field program. We meet every Sunday (11 am to 12 :15) at the Tappan Zee High School and conduct a "track meet" (relays, hurdles, long jump, javelin and shot putt). I realize that Pearl River is a 30 minute ride from Manhattan (we have kids from CT, NY and NJ), but I believe your son would love the day. If you would like, pls call me on my cell at 914-629-4117 at your convenience. Great job and we watch you and Ms. Tong every night.
Best regards,
Kevin Powers
Mr. Watkins,
I'm a father of an Autistic Child myself. I saw your initial response and read some of your posts about Mr. Savage.
I won't elaborate on that issue, as it's shining a light on something that shouldn't be.
I will say that I admire how you kept your cool in addressing the issue.
On a similar note, a large Social Blogging site, Xanga.com - has launched a sight called Autisable.com - dedicated to the autistic community.
Just thought I'd let you know.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact me.
Blessings.
Hey John P.! Lighten up. First of all, Gov. Palin's daughter's name is Bristol, not Briston. Who's the hypocrite here? What is Bristol saying here, do as I say, not as I do? Sounds like the Governor's gay-bashing Republican colleague from Idaho, who got caught with his pants down in the Men's Room.
"Sounds like the Governor's gay-bashing Republican colleague from Idaho, who got caught with his pants down in the Men's Room."
Not that there is anything wrong with that! Maybe he was about to propose marriage with two first-class tickets to Des Moines, Iowa!