Home From School: What Are The Rules Now?
When I was growing up, my parents had a pretty simple checklist for deciding if my brother or I should stay home sick from school:
- Were we breathing? If so, we went to school.
- Did we have any broken limbs? If it was just a simple fracture, we went to school. If it was a compound fracture and the bone was pushing out through the skin, we took a half-day.
- Did we have something that other kids might catch? Chicken pox and mumps, you stayed home. Everything else, we went to school.
I’m exaggerating, but only slightly. I should add it wasn’t just my parents setting these standards. Most people of my generation I talk to about this say they had a similar philosophy in their homes: that unless the youngster was obviously ill and incapacitated, every effort was made to pack the kid off to school. I also remember that was what the school system was urging, as well. You were expected to be in class unless you were really quite sick.
My, how things have changed. I’m not even talking about responding to the current swine flu scare, which has parents and school officials more skittish than ever. I mean generally speaking, there’s a whole new paradigm for when children should be kept home; it used to be, err on the side of getting the student to school. Now the rule seems to be, err on the side of caution, and keep the child home if he or she is even the slightest bit under the weather.
My wife and I have been dealing with this the last few days. One of our seven-year-old twin boys came down with a croup-y cough last week. We took him to the doctor, and were told to keep him out of school for at least two days. So he stayed home Thursday and Friday. He seemed better over the weekend, and we told him he’d be going back to school today. So when he woke up and said he had a tummy ache, we really weren’t having it, and off he went. We felt pretty good about taking a stand—until the nurses’ office called before noon asking us to come pick him up. Why? Because his face was flushed. So home he came, his third straight day missing school. (My wife took him back to the doctor, who told us he now had a stomach virus that was going to take a few more days to work through. So now he’s looking at missing still more school this week.)
I’m trying to approach this the proper way. I realize, especially right now, there’s much more caution being shown about spreading colds and viruses, as evidenced by all the schools that are shutting down entirely. I don’t want to have my children infect anyone else with a cold or a cough, and I don’t want my children to be sent to school if they are really feeling terrible. But on the other hand, when your sick-but-not-all-that-sick child starts missing four, five, six school days in a row, you’ve got a situation. First graders, like mine, can easily get out of the habit and the rhythm of going to school, and that’s not good. We want them to understand that school attendance is a non-negotiable under almost all circumstances. I’m already afraid they’re going to start thinking that waking up with a slightly stuffy nose is their ticket to a day off, and that the school system basically has their back on that.
I’d love to hear from you parents of school-aged children about your rules for calling your kid out sick, and whether you think school systems have gotten too casual (or too fearful of liability) about keeping up good attendance. And while you’re at it, I need advice on this, also: if your child DOES stay home, do you let them watch television and play computer games to fill the time? Or do you do everything you can to make staying home sick NOT a fun experience, to discourage any potential faking? I look forward to your answers.
Comments: 8
If a child has a slight fever, they go to school. (Some kids run warmer then others.) If they have a fever of 100 degree's or better then they stay home. If they are throwing up or have other intestinal issue's, they stay home for at least 24 hours. Anything contagious, they stay home until the doctor says they can go back. Once a kid is on an antibiotic for 24 hours, they go back to school. As long as they are feeling better. If a child stays home from school, there is no playtime. Either they are on the couch or in bed. I allow tv for a little while. If they are really sick, they usually sleep. Kids are going to get sick no matter what we do. Some kids get sick more then others. If they are really sick, keep them home.
I too was not allowed to stay home from school as a child unless I had a fever above 101 degrees. As a parent I followed similar rules for my children when they were younger. Now, as a high school teacher and in a society threatened by a flu epidemic/pandemic, my thoughts are changing. I see over 100 students a day. They come to school when they are under the weather for fear of missing too much work. I see kids all day with common cold and/or flu-like symptons. The question is, how do we know the difference? The kids don't feel well but push themselves due to academic pressures. I think the rules have to change NOW. If your child has flu like symptons and there is a doubt as to whether it is a common cold, allergy attack or the flu, keep them home! Their teachers will send them the missed work. It is now about keeping everyone healthy. I joke in my classes about coming to school in a mask and hazmat suit, but it is no joke. Now that death exists in the metropolitan area, we must all take precautions. The precautions begin at home. As a working, single mother I fully understand the pressure to get to work and send those kids to school. This flu has complicated life and using school as day care for sick children in not acceptable. Let's all work together to get back to a healthy environment in NY!
As a mother and a teacher, I think it is inconsiderate to send a sick child to school. Why should other people's children be exposed to whatever illness the sick child is carrying? Where is the school supposed to keep these sick children or should they be forced to sit in class? Any child with a fever is sick enough to stay home. Any child who is throwing up or who has diarrhea should be kept home. To discourage "goldbricking" Mom should also enforce the rule that if a child does not go to school, he/she does not have contact with other children after school either.
I'm the Doctor.
FIrst, over at the school, we changed our rules for sending kids home, as a result of the H1N1 situation. We see over 100 kids per day in our Health Office, and we can't keep them there until they recover, for fear of contagion to the kids who come in for injuries and screenings.
Also, the school population has changed since you were in school; we have many diabetics, children with handicaps, children recovering from malignancies, etc, who receive regular care in the Health Office. We can't expose them unnecessarily to obviously contagious diseases. It's a community project, and a wonderful one, at that. We all do our part for these special kids.
To discourage malingering, I agree that a child who stays home from school also misses any good fun that is planned, and is kept bored in their room with the TV off.
Viruses can last over a week. Generally, there's no real treatment to shorten the course. Let's hope that JW will be back in school soon.
Best Wishes,
Dr L.
We had to be pretty sick to stay home when we were kids. Anything stomach or intestinal we were home, fevers had to be over 100. We never stayed home for colds. We would have stayed home for chickenpox when we had that but we were unfortunate enough to get that during the summer. We had to stay inside and could not have friends over but we were allowed to watch TV, read or play quietly if we were up to it.
Our 12-year-old son is a little more difficult to assess because he has autism and is non-verbal. He also has significant seasonal allergies and suffers from March - November when trees, flowers, grasses and weeds are all active in pollen. Although he daily takes an allergy medicine he still sniffles, coughs and sneezes a good bit; with the red, itchy eyes. He cannot tell us whether he is having an allergy attack or a cold so we must guess. Because our son attends school outside our school district it is a longer drive to pick him up so sometimes we are quicker to keep him home if we think there is the potential the nurse will call. When we do keep him home from school - he has the same rules as us. He must stay inside and either watch TV or play quietly he cannot go outside to play.
As far as answering your question, I think "K" basically summed it up. There are however, a lot of other factors intertwined here: school is a babysitter; no one is home or everyone HAS to work due to economic issues; trust when kids say they're sick; excessive schoolwork/tests that can't be missed; work ethic and not slacking off...etc. I'm a home mom. I gave up my job because we knew there would be days to stay home like this-rather then paying the daycare ctr, afterschool, transportation & clothing costs, etc. When my kids say they're not feeling well, I believe them - it's the doctors who have misdiagnosed them several times and allowed them to return to school. (My son was congested w/RED eyes: given 3 meds for allergies and sent back to school; two days later he gets a sore throat and fever so upon return, he's diagnosed w/a sinus infection and given antibiotics AND told to return to school, then two days later the office calls to inform us that his throat culture is positive for Strep and to double his antibiotics AND return to school!) I hate this culture of pushing oneself - I felt the same pressure to go to the office when I was working. How are kids supposed to learn well at school when they're sick? When you know your kids are coming down with something, they need simple rest when symptoms first start without needing the plague to justify staying home. Perhaps then illness wouldn't be SO rampant.
Hi, Jim. I'm surprised by your experiences as a child. When I was a kid, my mother would rush us to the Dr. if we had sniffles! When my children became school-aged, I was shocked and disturbed by all the kids who were sent to school with runny noses and coughs. I joke that my daughter gets sick if the wind blows. I guess she doesn't have the best immune system. I don't feel it's fair for other parents to send their children to school when their child is sick and infect my kids. I think it's selfish. I keep my kids home when they're sick, even without fever, for three reasons. One, I want them to get their rest so their bodies can fight the infection and get better. Two, if their immune systems are compromised, there's a good chance of picking up a secondary infection. And three, I don't want my kids to infect other children. I let them watch TV and play on the computer. I can tell if they're weak and not really enjoying themselves. Once their energy is back, I know they're ready to go back to school. There are other options for working parents. Our local hospital has a "sniffles club" where you can drop off your sick kid for the day, while you go to work. So, especially now, when people are on edge due to the Swine Flu, it's better to keep your kids home (or a sniffles club) when they're sick.
KIDS SHOULD STAY HOME WHEN THEY'RE SICK! As a teacher, I miss many days from work due to the viruses, colds, etc. I catch from my students. It has been my experience that when kids are sick many parents give their kids a dose of Tylenol and send them off to school. Never bothering to call or see a doctor, not even when their kid is sent home sick. It's not fair to expose the other children in a classroom to the germs that a sick kid will bring to school. It's also not fair to teachers who get sick from these kids and then take these germs home and get their own families/kids sick. As a new mom, I am concerned about the germs that I may bring home to my baby. Plus, parents need to realize that when their kid is sick they are not productive in school. Also, when kids don't feel well they are not always sent home right away. Kids might have to wait for the nurse to tend to other children before they are seen. Sometime the nurse might be out for several reasons and they have to wait for her return. Then when parents are contacted, kids have to wait for a parent to leave work and pick them up. Sometimes the whole process can take a few hours before they are actually picked up. In the meantime, they sit in a classroom feeling miserable, complaining, and getting others around them sick. Parents please keep your children home when they're sick! It's what's best for your child and the rest of the school community. Also remember that school is not a babysitting service. It is an educational institution and no real learning happens when a child is feeling ill!