Gentlemen, Start Your Bar Stools

Many newscasts today included the story of the Newark, Ohio man arrested for drunk driving after wrecking his motorized bar stool on a public highway. He admitted downing 15-beers before crashing his bar stool, which he claimed could reach a top speed near 40-MPH. Most people hearing this story, I’m guessing, were asking two questions: how stupid does a person have to be to get drunk and zoom off on a motorized bar stool?; and, what the hell is a motorized bar stool? To save you some time, I’ve been doing some research on the second question for tonight’s blog. You’re welcome.

Let’s begin with the comments from the arresting officer:

“Some people have made a sport of racing barstools equipped with tires, a steering wheel and a small engine, Newark police Sergeant Barry Connell said. "There are hundreds of people racing these things," he said. "But they race on closed courses." The barstool was towed away.

Ignore, if you can, the image of the puzzled tow truck driver arriving at THAT scene, and ponder what the good sergeant said.. that there’s “a sport of racing barstools.” Could this really be true?

Oh, dear readers. You have no idea. There isn’t just a sport. There’s a subculture.

First, check out this video just to get the flavor of the sport. A group of men (I’m pretty sure it’s men, because.. well, just because) driving around a little homemade course, each sitting atop a bar stool mounted on a bodywork with wheels and powered by a car battery. It sounds really weird, but if you watch the video, you’ll see that it IS really weird. And this is just an amateur event. My hand to God, there actually is an IBRA—the International Barstool Racing Association—that now sanctions an increasing number of PROFESSIONAL bar stool races.

Even the hallowed Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah now hosts bar stool speed events. (The current record held by Cec McCray, the Tiger Woods of bar stool racing, is 47.586 miles per hour). The site lists the competition bar stool specifications, some of which I’ve listed here:

1. Must be constructed from a REAL BAR STOOL
2. 12 Volt DC Maximum Power (limited to ONE battery only)
3. MOTORS - Optional (limited to ONE single 12 volt motor)
4. STEERING - Required (keep it simple but safe)
5. BRAKES - Required, single-hand operated, external hand brake okay.
8. 30" MINIMUM seat height.
9. 23" MAXIMUM overall tire and wheel width. In streamlined class bodywork can exceed this measurement.
10. 21" MAXIMUM wheelbase.
11. Competitors must wear full face helmet, gloves, long pants and jacket to cover arms. NO SHORTS AND TEE SHIRTS ALLOWED.
13. Rider MUST sit on the seat. (Your Butt must be on the Seat!)

Was it really necessary to specifically require brakes and a steering mechanism? I mean, how are going to stop a bar stool without brakes?

So, how about it? Are you ready to get in on this? Lucky you. I’ve linked to one of the many sites where you can order a kit to build your own bar stool racer. And if you want one with a built-in ice chest, it’s yours for a mere $1700!

I’m so glad I could turn you on to this growing sport. But please, please, people… don’t be like that fool in Ohio. Do not drink before driving this vehicle. Alcohol and bar stools do not mix!