Mom says: “Bring the Funny”

My mother had been reading my blog, and sent this email today: “I like the funny ones much more than the political ones. (Do they have to be so long?) When did you get so political?”

I don’t mind her liking the funny ones better. It’s okay to ask about my interest in politics. But “do they have to be so long?” kind of stings a little. Whatever. Here’s a shorter, funny one, of recent random thoughts...

--- Have you ever noticed when you’re watching something on TV and you don’t quite hear or understand what somebody in the show says, that you can NEVER understand it, no matter how many times you back up the DVR or DVD. It’s uncanny. If someone in the show says something that sounds to you like, “I need to go kishnay my smuffamrk,” you can back that sucker up ten times, and each time, it sounds like, “I need to go kishnay my smuffamrk.” This is such a pain when it happens, say, near the end of a tense police procedural. It’s that second-to-last scene where everything is finally explained, and in the ultimate moment of dialog, the guy from C.S.I.N.C.I.S.S.V.U: Miami says, “So that’s how he did it; he spleched the kittenhat.” Go ahead, work that DVR; it won’t matter. You just wasted an hour, my friend. They need to invent a DVR that when you go back to hear something, it makes the actors enunciate better.

--- My co-anchor Kaity has an effective way of shooting down my various rants and arguments. Just the other day, I was off on some pointless tangent, finally asking her if she understood what I was saying. “I see your point,” she said finally. “But it’s a stupid point.”

--- File this one under “gradual loss of innocence.” One of my six-year-old twin boys, Luke, was watching his younger cousin try to pull off a magic trick at a family gathering. It wasn’t really clicking too well, so one of the adults called out, “You have to say abracadabra.” Luke looked over at me and shook his head. “Abracadabra,” he said ruefully. “That hardly ever works.”

That’s it. Nice and short. Hopefully somewhat funny. Anything for Mom.